Thursday, September 26, 2013

Love them where they are at

"Love them where they are at"....

Ever heard this one?

I just did a few weeks ago.

People may not be where you want them to it physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally...

So if that person isn't where you are, do you say "well, forget you then"?

Sometimes you might.

If you are ready to be a wife and a mother and the guy you have been seeing for years still wants to party like a frat boy, then, yes.  it may be time to cut bait.

Doesn't mean you don't love him anymore, though, right?

We have been trying to start a business that involves direct marketing.

Dont get me wrong.

I love the products.  I love what they have done for me.

I hate selling stuff.  I hate it even more when you are supposed to sell to your family and friends first.

Even though I know this stuff will benefit 98% of folks who try it, I still hate doing it.

I love talking about this stuff when someone asks, but otherwise... nope.   I went to training this summer and another training later.  I heard this phrase several times.  "Love them where they are at"
It is in regards to the products we sell, but can be applied to more aspects of my life.

We recently went to open house at my child's school.  She has a Social Studies teacher who is very inspired to share all world cultures and religions with her.

We talked about this.  I told her "Child, there are many people out there who will have other ideas about how things work, what gods they worship, what morals they have, what animals they cant eat....  Just remember, although you may not believe the same way they do, you must respect that they have the right to believe the way they do." This may possibly be a hair over her head yet.  But you have to start somewhere.

The kids and I have had more and more in depth "heart" conversations recently.  What it all basically boils down to is loving people where they are at.  Whether they are a different religion, play a different sport, sell a different product, live a different lifestyle.  You need to love them (not their action/belief) where they are.  Don't expect them to change to where you are.

hobby lobby

My son's birthday party is this weekend.  So being the awesome, planning mom that I am, I went searching for items for the goody bags yesterday.  (BTW, I hate goody bags.  I wouldn't do them if not for an incident with my daughter at her 3rd birthday party years ago ~ but I digress)

I was checking out, patient, no issues.  I did have a price check thing so I ended up paying for  half my order, then waiting for the price to come down then finish my stuff.

In the meantime, you can hear this hissy fit in the background.  All moms and dads have heard this.  This child has either been pushed too far, is hungry/sleepy, or is throwing a royal tantrum right in the middle of Hobby Lobby.

The comments start:
"That child needs to go home"
"That mom needs to take her child home"
"Wow, will you listen to that.  that is a fit"

I continue to wait for my price as the screaming child gets closer.

By now the line is about 6 deep (yall know hobby lobby - it has registers like lowes and walmart.  bare minimum are open)

And guess who pops into the end?


I literally can feel the tension grow all around me.  It is almost like I can see the checkers blood pressure start to climb.

And the child is getting closer and no less calmer.

You can see the employees start to stir.

New registers are opened.

Guests in front of her are checked through.

Special provisions are extended towards the woman with the screamer, but she passes, because there are customers ahead of her.

I can see her calmly addressing her child.  Speaking words we cant hear (he probably couldnt either).  You can see the tension on her face.

She gets through the line, pays, then removes herself and her screaming child from the store.

The relief in the store is palpable.

I finally get my price and am checking out.

I say to the cashier "Wow, it is amazing how something like that can really raise your blood pressure"

She responds with "That child needed to be taken from the store"

Then I hear another customer "Parents are just too afraid to discipline anymore... my kids wouldn't have gotten away with that"

Next : "Someone should tell her that isnt acceptable"

Followed with "Id give that kid something to cry about."

You can hear the satisfied snorts all around.

I finish my transaction and head out of the store.

I see the woman getting her items in her car.  She has gotten her child buckled already.

I start to think.

Why were we so quick to judge her?

I have been in her shoes before.  Maybe I thought.. 'hey, it is just one more store, we can make it through', fully knowing that it was almost lunch time.  Or maybe the kid dropped the snack she so thoughtfully prepared and now has nothing to munch on.  Or maybe he hurt himself and is now reacting poorly.  Maybe is just having a temper tantrum.

Unfortunately, 2 year olds don't really have a knack for acting and reacting logically and rationally.  I know.  Sorry to burst your bubble.

The thing I took from it is that the mom stayed so calm.  Softly speaking.  You could tell her words were not new.  This was how she usually was able to talk him down.  No wonder he didn't respond with all the daggers pointed towards him and his mom.

I was reminded again that what people show on the outside is not an adequate representation of what is going on inside.  The outside is sometimes a bandaid.  A costume.  A face to present to the world, all while the inside is going down in flames.

Dont be quick to judge.  Think.  Then react.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  But everyone is not entitled to listen to it.  :)