Love them where they are at

"Love them where they are at"....

Ever heard this one?

I just did a few weeks ago.

People may not be where you want them to be...be it physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally...

So if that person isn't where you are, do you say "well, forget you then"?

Sometimes you might.

If you are ready to be a wife and a mother and the guy you have been seeing for years still wants to party like a frat boy, then, yes.  it may be time to cut bait.

Doesn't mean you don't love him anymore, though, right?

We have been trying to start a business that involves direct marketing.

Dont get me wrong.

I love the products.  I love what they have done for me.

I hate selling stuff.  I hate it even more when you are supposed to sell to your family and friends first.

Even though I know this stuff will benefit 98% of folks who try it, I still hate doing it.

I love talking about this stuff when someone asks, but otherwise... nope.   I went to training this summer and another training later.  I heard this phrase several times.  "Love them where they are at"
It is in regards to the products we sell, but can be applied to more aspects of my life.

We recently went to open house at my child's school.  She has a Social Studies teacher who is very inspired to share all world cultures and religions with her.

We talked about this.  I told her "Child, there are many people out there who will have other ideas about how things work, what gods they worship, what morals they have, what animals they cant eat....  Just remember, although you may not believe the same way they do, you must respect that they have the right to believe the way they do." This may possibly be a hair over her head yet.  But you have to start somewhere.

The kids and I have had more and more in depth "heart" conversations recently.  What it all basically boils down to is loving people where they are at.  Whether they are a different religion, play a different sport, sell a different product, live a different lifestyle.  You need to love them (not their action/belief) where they are.  Don't expect them to change to where you are.

hobby lobby

My son's birthday party is this weekend.  So being the awesome, planning mom that I am, I went searching for items for the goody bags yesterday.  (BTW, I hate goody bags.  I wouldn't do them if not for an incident with my daughter at her 3rd birthday party years ago ~ but I digress)

I was checking out, patient, no issues.  I did have a price check thing so I ended up paying for  half my order, then waiting for the price to come down then finish my stuff.

In the meantime, you can hear this hissy fit in the background.  All moms and dads have heard this.  This child has either been pushed too far, is hungry/sleepy, or is throwing a royal tantrum right in the middle of Hobby Lobby.

The comments start:
"That child needs to go home"
"That mom needs to take her child home"
"Wow, will you listen to that.  that is a fit"

I continue to wait for my price as the screaming child gets closer.

By now the line is about 6 deep (yall know hobby lobby - it has registers like lowes and walmart.  bare minimum are open)

And guess who pops into the end?

Yep.

I literally can feel the tension grow all around me.  It is almost like I can see the checkers blood pressure start to climb.

And the child is getting closer and no less calmer.

You can see the employees start to stir.

New registers are opened.

Guests in front of her are checked through.

Special provisions are extended towards the woman with the screamer, but she passes, because there are customers ahead of her.

I can see her calmly addressing her child.  Speaking words we cant hear (he probably couldnt either).  You can see the tension on her face.

She gets through the line, pays, then removes herself and her screaming child from the store.

The relief in the store is palpable.

I finally get my price and am checking out.

I say to the cashier "Wow, it is amazing how something like that can really raise your blood pressure"

She responds with "That child needed to be taken from the store"

Then I hear another customer "Parents are just too afraid to discipline anymore... my kids wouldn't have gotten away with that"

Next : "Someone should tell her that isnt acceptable"

Followed with "Id give that kid something to cry about."

You can hear the satisfied snorts all around.

I finish my transaction and head out of the store.

I see the woman getting her items in her car.  She has gotten her child buckled already.

I start to think.

Why were we so quick to judge her?

I have been in her shoes before.  Maybe I thought.. 'hey, it is just one more store, we can make it through', fully knowing that it was almost lunch time.  Or maybe the kid dropped the snack she so thoughtfully prepared and now has nothing to munch on.  Or maybe he hurt himself and is now reacting poorly.  Maybe is just having a temper tantrum.

Unfortunately, 2 year olds don't really have a knack for acting and reacting logically and rationally.  I know.  Sorry to burst your bubble.

The thing I took from it is that the mom stayed so calm.  Softly speaking.  You could tell her words were not new.  This was how she usually was able to talk him down.  No wonder he didn't respond with all the daggers pointed towards him and his mom.

I was reminded again that what people show on the outside is not an adequate representation of what is going on inside.  The outside is sometimes a bandaid.  A costume.  A face to present to the world, all while the inside is going down in flames.

Dont be quick to judge.  Think.  Then react.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  But everyone is not entitled to listen to it.  :)

Million words or less

Just found this.  It is from a few years ago, 2010 I believe.  It was an assignment for the parents to write a "million words or less" essay about our child.  So naturally, I let the writer in the family take this be.  I thought it was not only clever, but also sweet and I didn't want to lose it in the deep dark recesses of my email.  Here it is:

Hi.  My name is Tyler.  Suppose it was almost 6 years ago when I met Lauren, or as my mommy and daddy like to call her, “Lolo”.  I remember clearly cause I just had the most unusual mornings like ever ever ever when I met her at Methodist Willowbrook hospital.  Lolo said she was also born 2 years earlier at that same hospital!!  I wasn’t much interested cause I needed a shower something fierce that day let me tell ya.  Anyhoo.  From that day forward I called Lauren, “sister”.  Still do today infact.  She and I love to do things together.  This summer for example… why we went to the beach in South Carolina and Galveston.  We also went to Colorado and went white water rafting.  We also got to go to Schlitterbahn two times!  My sister loves to swim.  She’s taking swimming lessons right now infact.  She’s always loved the water…even declaring one time that she wanted to grow up and train Shamu at Sea World!!  But I digest.  Lauren and I been best friends all my life.  Sure she has several girl friends she met while in her Girl Scout Troup.  She’s been doin’ that for some 3 years now I guess.  Lauren and I like to camp together.  We camped in my backyard and she has camped with her Girl Scouts.  I couldn’t camp with them because they yackity yack yack all night long.  Makes my head hurt. Sister and I draw lots of pictures at home.  Sister loves ART!  She has drawn some amazing pictures.  One thing I will NEVER do is get my nails done but Lolo loves getting her hair and nails done.  When Lauren and I go to the mall… she just HAS to walk through Macy’s or Dillards. UGH!!!  Give me a BREAK!  It’s RALPH Lauren… not LAUREN Kersh!  Good grief!  She doesn’t care.  I believe it was the French Romantic writer George Sand who once quipped “Vanity is the quicksand of reason.”  Indeed.  Oh.  Yes indeed.  Anyhoo.  One other thing I forgot to mention that Lauren and I love to do… that’s playing with our Golden Retriever named JJ.

 

 

OK.  Here goes.  I’ve never typed before because I don’t have opposing thumbs.  So Bark… I mean…. so bear with me.  This is JJ.  I’m the dog.  I’m 11.  I like sleeping.  Eating treats isn’t so bad either.  A dog hears a lot of things being around the house.  The big news riii….(yawn)..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…ght now is the new house!!!!  It’s a few minutes from our house in Treeline and the backyard is awesome!  My mini masters Lolo and Tyler just changed schools.  I hear all the stories about how amazing, beautiful, smart, incredible, excellent, great and amazing their new teachers are. 

 

(What?  Me?  Trying to be the school pet?  Naw!)

 

 

 

This is Lauren’s dad.  It’s hard to know where to start when describing Lauren.  She’s intelligent, thoughful, sensitive, sweet and kind.  Don’t get me wrong, she has her moments like we all do where she puts her brother in a full nelson suplex but at her core she has that sweet young naivete that as her parents we never want to see disappear.  Sadly, we know all too well it will one day.  Her favorite restaurants are Chili’s, Chick Fil A and McDonalds.  She would walk through fire for Bubblegum Ice Cream at Baskin Robbins.  Lauren is the oldest grandchild of 8 grandchildren.  When all the kids are together Lauren is the mother hen… constantly taking care of her younger cousins and brother.  Lauren has an intense desire to learn.  She’s done very well in school having earned straight As in every grade period.  She likes to read.  She works real hard at math but shes better in history, science and language arts.  She can be shy at times but she makes friends pretty quickly.  Lauren is a joy to be around and one of the sweetest kids you’ll ever meet.  Between her mom, brother, dog and me… she has a family around her that loves her very very much.  We look forward to the year ahead and hearing the many stories of all that she learns in your class. 

CrossFit Open 2013

So, I've been doing the CrossFit open which is a series of workouts you go through to qualify for regionals then for the CF games. That wasn't my goal, it was merely to see if I could do this stuff. So, this is the last week and we have chest to bar pull ups. Mercy! My initial reaction is "I can't do that", but then I'm thinking, that is what I said about the 75lb snatch and the toes to bar. Got both of those done, so why not these?
***update, I just completed this last workout and did not get any chest to bar pull ups ***

What I have learned is that I have so much more to offer and give than I do daily. Why do I hold back? So, other than the torn hands, that is what I am taking from this experience. I am more than what I think I am. So, what am I going to do about it?

Sprinklers

I'm just sitting here watching the sprinklers. "Why?", you may ask. Or not. I'm kind of a strange person, so many folks would just say "ok", or smile and nod. But back to the point. I'm watching the sprinklers today.

See, I just fertilized, and I have a puppy. Enough said? Let me elaborate. The puppy. Puppy. Baby teeth. Lots of chewing/eating. LOTS of chewing. So much interesting eating that I do know now exactly how big a foreign object can be in order to pass though his digestive system. TMI, I know... Now, you do too.

(See below for a pic of the cute turd we call Griffin or goober or, why yes, even turd on occasion)

Anyway, I am making sure that the sprinkler system is getting to the entire yard in order to activate or whatever the fertilizer so my dog won't come out here and think "treats" and then we have to make him vomit. (Had to do that with my sweet JJ who recently passed - not pretty. Fairly easy to do, but not pretty)

I digress.

See, earlier this week I discovered why my gerbera dasies were dying. Just in one spot. Yes, me, AKA Einstein, figured out that the sprinkler head nearest those flowers wasn't working, so I proceeded to screw, and unscrew until I almost lost the components flying through the air (some may know what I'm talking about) got drenched and still did not fix the bugar. I'm blaming nightfall. Couldn't see it anymore. Haven't gotten back to it, but that is neither here nor there.

I'm full into the spring planting thing. Fertilizing, auditing my sprinklers system, mowing through the inch think layer of pollen.....I was on my back porch a while ago and saw all the plants I was trying to keep alive through the winter. (I'm a sucker, so there were plenty). I kept thinking, I can totally get this to grow again (you know, cause I'm flush full of the power of resurrection). Why do I keep this stuff when it is obviously dead? Why do I keep high maintenance plants when it isn't my passion to tend to them as much as is needed? I let go of my garden this year. Can't do it. I let go of the tropical plants I thought for sure would come back. They won't.

Do you know how good I feel? Strange? I can go out of my back porch and see living things... Not constant reminders of my failures. Those plants that I couldn't keep alive. Do you know how much that messes with your head? "Couldn't keep that one alive". Ugh

So, this Is what i challenge whomever is reading to do (ha, just ended with a preposition). Take back your back porch. Make it your sanctuary. Throw away the dead stuff. You will feel so much better.

Now. I am going to look at that sprinkler head again. Wish me luck.

Challenge

So, one thing I struggle with as an at home mom is goals. You go to work, you have a task, you complete it. You either do well or you don't. You get feedback, you adjust, then take on a new project. You get reviewed yearly, get new goals, then hopefully receive a promotion, or raise to reward your performance.

Now, I'm not saying I am never thanked for the thing I do and the house, not at all. My family does a great job at that. But you know, " yay mom, you did laundry " just doesn't have the same oomph as " yay lynda, you really nailed that project."

I digress

So, what I have had to do to keep direction in my life is set my own goals. Be it repainting the house, making quilts or doing something physical, I set goals.

Last year I set a goal to run a half marathon. Four months of training and I did it. Very proud of myself. This year for a physical goal I am stumped. I don't want to do another half. Did the mud run thing last year. Did a super sprint tri. Maybe I will do a sprint tri. It is a bit longer...

So my crossfit box starts talking about the crossfit open. Anyone can enter. I haven't a chance in hades to make it past this round, but I thought it would be fun. We found out what the first workout is tonight. Fun isn't the word I will use for this.

I realized that this may be my physical challenge goal this year. I can so talk my way out of doing it. I mean really, I physically can't do a 100 Or a 120 lb snatch. I just can't. But I can challenge myself to do the best I can. I know without a doubt, if I talk myself out of this, I will fail. I will regret.

That is a strange thing, but also a gift...I know I will regret if I don't do. I can see it before. I don't have to wait.

So here it is. My goal. I have expectations. I will either meet them or fall short. Here is my measuring stick.

God help me.

Oh mercy!

I figured out how to update my blog from my iPad. Maybe I will finally meet my goal to keep this current. I literally have a list of ideas to write about, but then get distracted or have to arm wrestle one of the kids to use the computer. (It wasn't simple, google has weird things in place so I can't update it like I would on the computer...hoops, u know). Anyway, onward!

Mama Sweat: Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited.

Mama Sweat: Pelvic Floor Party: Kegels are NOT invited.

Had to post this for a link. Interesting read. A little old, but interesting none the less. Something a lot of women I come across have issues with. It is embarrassing, but common.